Tuesday 19 August 2014

My next 9 months.... or, how I intend to go to Grad School to find myself.

I am obsessed with the Beck single "Turn Away."  It has the right mood and vibe to describe how conflicted I currently feel.  I am wrapping up an eventful 6 months in this current role, where my life has been in turmoil and tumultuous the whole time.  I am angry, hurt and frightened that I can suddenly be out of a role due to someone's whim. 

I work with a good group of women, who are each strong and bring a lot to the table.  I have seen this once cohesive group descend into anarchy.  I have experienced backstabbing from a core majority of them,  and don't really know who I can trust.  I didn't want to go, and I felt that I had made some friends in this role.  As my last two weeks dawns here, I don't really know what to believe anymore nor do I care anymore. 

I don't look at the coming days as running away from my problems, but I do look at it as gaining perspective.  I have been anxious and on my toes for the past six months, and need a break and to gain some perspective. 

Everything has been in shambles gradually over the past year.  I don't think I will hike 1000 miles to find myself, but I like to think that surrounded by my studies and family, this will help me to move on from this period of my life. 

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